Dating Tips For Single Parents

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Meeting new people and going on dates can be a herculean task. Searching for the right one is no different from any kind of search at all. It takes time and energy

Meeting new people, going on fresh dates can be a weird venture even for singles let alone single parents. "Dating is a minefield whatever your situation. When you’re a parent, things can feel even tougher".

Before you begin dating it's always advisable for people to find themselves, get over the past, heal and keep a positive attitude to everything. 

Bare in mind that you are not going into a relationship to seek love or find happiness but to share.  You must therefore, be happy as you cannot give what you do not have.

As a single parent (whether by choice or circumstance) whatever situation you find yourself is not the end of the world. You should make deliberate effort to be committed to your own growth and happiness because you cannot afford to go into another relationship clueless.

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Being a single parent can drain you emotionally, phsycologically, financially et al...

Know that your kid(s) need you just as much as your partner does and you have a responsibility to ensure that there is a balance. 

Do not under apply yourself to either party and do not over do it likewise. Remember that you have to have and be all you wish to give and more. Be yourself!

Dating can be fun and interesting if you keep a positive attitude and let positive energy flow through you. 

Here we go... 5 tips on dating as a single parent.

• Get Rid of the Baggage Mentality

First of all, realise that (whether it was your fault or not) shit happens. Even if you could have done better, let the past remain in the past. You have to decide that it's time to look beyond what was, accept what is and move forward.

You must know that having a child(ren) no matter the circumstance, is not a baggage but a blessing.

Be Honest About Your Status

The child(ren) that you have is a major part of your life and you cannot afford to hide the fact that you are a parent. It should be at the front burner of you first conversation with your potential date. These things can get complicated or misinterpreted if you miss talking about it abinitial. For what it's worth you owe your date some openness. Tell them so they know exactly what they're getting into and you do not want be seen as a liar, there's really no need for that. You're only a single parent and not a criminal so, relax and feel free to mingle.

Feel free to date and explore.

Don’t rush introducing your new partner to your child(ren)

Consider the "what ifs". Like what if the relationship ends? What if a revelation pops in along the line? No matter how "in-love" you may be, do not be too excited and carried away as to shove your dates in the face of your kid(s). Respect yourself and your kid(s) enough to not expose them to every Tom, Dick and Harry.

• Respect is the key word here.

Remember it's just dating until there's commitment to take it to the next level. And you just don't present the person. First, have a heart to heart with the kid(s), prepare them mentally and get their opinion on the matter before you do the introduction and help them adjust to the new situation.

• Don't be desperate

Thinking future comes natural to us all especially when we find the one that makes us feel like home. Single parents who wish to remarry are quick to picture a future with a person they find attractive but you have to slow down.

I'm guessing that by now you know what you want and don't want for yourself and your kid so, don't give room for vulnerability, time wasters and negative energy.

Don't put marriage as a criteria and don't let the promise of marriage be why you should lose your common sense and excuse certain toxic traits. You need a partner that understands the situation on ground and is willing to help you succeed.

Focus on the present. Focus on enjoying your relationship and being happy.

• Don't Lose Control

Being a single parent doesn't make you handicapped or less attractive. So, don't settle for less than what you deserve. You have to be determined to succeed in all you do and keep your head up. Whenever, there's confusion, all parties would rely on your wisdom to resolve it.

Both the kid(s) and your new partner should understand that you are in control of the situation. You should know that the connection between you and your kid(s)/ your partner are different and everybody should know their place. Do not take sides or mix things up. Give the right amount of time and affection to both parties.

Never act helpless with kids...

Never lose your self respect in love...

Stay in charge!

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As a single parent, you cannot afford to get involved in complicated relationships. No competition, no games, no drama... No! You don't need all of that. Your priorities are different and you can't go wrong if you stay strong and focused.

Parent or not, you are still single (perhaps available, maybe searching). Get your life together, eat good food, exercise, dress well and go on dates. 

You deserve the life you want, go and get it!