This Thing Called Marriage

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 From a woman’s lens.

What peace of mind looks like


Marriage: A word so often dressed in the language of love, companionship and “happily ever after.” It is portrayed as the ultimate fulfillment of human connection…two hearts choosing to walk the same path, to share laughter, struggles and dreams. Whereas in actual sense, marriage is meant to be a partnership built on trust, respect and mutual sacrifice but the reality for many is far this.

Understand that marriage is not a bed of roses. It comes with challenges of course. It demands a lot of patience, understanding and commitment from both partners. Yet, in many homes this balance is missing. What should be a haven of safety sometimes becomes a place of silent suffering because of one person’s selfishness and desire for control.

Many women especially, endure the weight of marriage at the mercy of merciless partners. They stay bound by culture, societal expectations or the hope that things will get better. Some endure emotional neglect, others physical or financial abuse, each one silently burying parts of themselves for the sake of “keeping the marriage.” Their dreams…killed, voices… silenced and joy dimmed, all sacrificed at the altar of endurance.

Marriage has gradually moved from God’s original plan to man’s tool of subjugation. To me, it seems more like a social construct. If it’s not working, why hold onto it? Love should not leave you with a sour taste. If they don’t care, why do you care so much as to sacrifice your sanity?

This thing called marriage, when it is not nurtured, can quickly become a cage. Yet, it does not have to be. Marriage should never be about domination. It should be about partnership. It should not demand endurance of cruelty but the embracing of companionship.

Can two work together except they agree?

For marriage to truly thrive, both partners must carry the weight equally with kindness as the foundation. Love is not only in words but in actions/in listening, in showing respect, in protecting each other’s dignity.

So, perhaps this thing called marriage is both a mirror and a choice. It reflects what each partner puts in and it demands a daily decision to love, to respect, to cherish or to wound.

And for those enduring mercilessness, the truth is harsh but important. Listen, marriage should never cost you your self-worth, your safety or your soul. Get help and get out while you can because if you hang in there too long, sometimes it maybe hard to pit back bits and pieces of your life together. Womanhood & marriage!

Sometimes, I wonder…how do men feel about marriage?

Comments

  1. Goodluck Oluchi4.9.25

    You're right Ma'am. It takes two for any marriage to work. The society has made it seem as if it's the woman's duty to ensure that any marriage stands thereby making her endure all sorts of things hurled at her. But I'm glad now that women are wiser now.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous4.9.25

    It’s exhausting and we can only do the much we can

    ReplyDelete
  3. JOSEPH.O.G4.9.25

    You are absolutely right, we have a generation that do not understand the true essence of marriage. Many marry because the society expect marriage invitation so the actual values of marriage is eroded in selfish expectations. One should be able to live life with quality without the burden of being married.

    I just feel marriage is over celebrated.

    ReplyDelete

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